My laptop seems to be on its last lap. Its memory is failing and it keeps losing its keys, on the keyboard that is. Viral infections have taken a toll on its system and it suffers from a bad case of the COLD (Completely Outdated Laptop Device). The software is hard to use and the hardware is overused. To get it fixed I have called in the handy-dandy service professional but from day one it seemed like I was talking to an Alien from outer space.
He tried to switch on my computer and could not get it to turn on. That’s when he mentioned that I had a boot-sector virus. I was a little embarrassed. I am not sure how he figured it out but I did have a little fungal infection between my toes. He must have smelled my shoes while entering the door. Embarrassed, I told him I would get it checked by my podiatrist soon. He also requested that I backup my hard drive frequently. So I have taken to driving my car in reverse in front of my house everyday. I dont understand how this helps my computer but who can keep up with technology these days?
The other day he came to fix some problem with the computer and nearly gave me a heart attack! He mentioned that I had low Level-2 Cache. How did he know that my bank account was short of funds? In fact I was so strapped for cash that I was not sure I could pay him for his services! Somewhere along the way he also mentioned that my chipset was old and needed to be replaced. The guy had some gall! Not only had he raided the snacks in my kitchen without my knowledge but he was complaining about the expiry date on the packet of chips. He finished his work and mentioned he would be back the next week. I quickly hid my boots as he left, for fear of another nasty comment from him.
He returned the next week and he mentioned that he had a new Motherboard with him. I could make neither head nor tail of this. Was his mother living with him now? Or was it someone elses mother? Maybe a stepmother? Why did he mention it now? Maybe he knew I could not pay and was looking to have his mother stay with me for a while! As he messed around in the computer he made another funny statement. He mentioned that he was going to rearrange the BUS to increase speed. Was he using public transport to move around? I could see his car standing outside so that did not make sense. Maybe there was a lot of traffic on the road and he thought public transport would be faster. Who knew? I let it go but I thought to myself that these geeks were a weird bunch!
Just as he left he mentioned that he was going to replace Windows the next time he came. That’s it! I finally figured it out. This guy was some sort of crook who under the pretext of being a technician scoped out houses, ate their chips without permission, used public transport to avoid detection and involved his mother to blackmail financially-stressed people like me. And now he was telling me he was going to replace the windows in my house, which he would then break into at some later date! Nice try pal! I am not falling for that one.
I let go of his services and junked my laptop. I had the last laugh too. I used the money to put up a new security system on all my windows. After all, he’s not the only one who can install a Windows Security update!
He tried to switch on my computer and could not get it to turn on. That’s when he mentioned that I had a boot-sector virus. I was a little embarrassed. I am not sure how he figured it out but I did have a little fungal infection between my toes. He must have smelled my shoes while entering the door. Embarrassed, I told him I would get it checked by my podiatrist soon. He also requested that I backup my hard drive frequently. So I have taken to driving my car in reverse in front of my house everyday. I dont understand how this helps my computer but who can keep up with technology these days?
The other day he came to fix some problem with the computer and nearly gave me a heart attack! He mentioned that I had low Level-2 Cache. How did he know that my bank account was short of funds? In fact I was so strapped for cash that I was not sure I could pay him for his services! Somewhere along the way he also mentioned that my chipset was old and needed to be replaced. The guy had some gall! Not only had he raided the snacks in my kitchen without my knowledge but he was complaining about the expiry date on the packet of chips. He finished his work and mentioned he would be back the next week. I quickly hid my boots as he left, for fear of another nasty comment from him.
He returned the next week and he mentioned that he had a new Motherboard with him. I could make neither head nor tail of this. Was his mother living with him now? Or was it someone elses mother? Maybe a stepmother? Why did he mention it now? Maybe he knew I could not pay and was looking to have his mother stay with me for a while! As he messed around in the computer he made another funny statement. He mentioned that he was going to rearrange the BUS to increase speed. Was he using public transport to move around? I could see his car standing outside so that did not make sense. Maybe there was a lot of traffic on the road and he thought public transport would be faster. Who knew? I let it go but I thought to myself that these geeks were a weird bunch!
Just as he left he mentioned that he was going to replace Windows the next time he came. That’s it! I finally figured it out. This guy was some sort of crook who under the pretext of being a technician scoped out houses, ate their chips without permission, used public transport to avoid detection and involved his mother to blackmail financially-stressed people like me. And now he was telling me he was going to replace the windows in my house, which he would then break into at some later date! Nice try pal! I am not falling for that one.
I let go of his services and junked my laptop. I had the last laugh too. I used the money to put up a new security system on all my windows. After all, he’s not the only one who can install a Windows Security update!
